I'm slowly digesting this news - yes, now my breast cancer is in my brain. But as I process this information, I also have to keep reminding myself that the lesions are very, very small. These spots are manageable. I've found some measure of compartmentalization that has allowed me to give this new development a … Continue reading Brain Tumor Chat
Category: Diagnosis/Treatment
Good News/Bad News
Clinical trials are always a bit of a crapshoot. On one hand, you have the opportunity to be treated with the most cutting-edge technology, medications, and treatments available. On the other hand, well, it's a trial. There's no truly solid data on its efficacy because you are the data. I felt fairly comfortable with my … Continue reading Good News/Bad News
The Last Two Months
“I do not wish my anger and pain and fear about cancer to fossilize into yet another silence, nor to rob me of whatever strength can lie at the core of this experience, openly acknowledged and examined...imposed silence about any area of our lives is a tool for separation and powerlessness.” -Audre Lorde, The Cancer … Continue reading The Last Two Months
Playing The “What If” Game
As a child, I often tried to make sense of the greater world by trying to understand the relationship of that which was happening in my life in relationship with all of the myriad things that could happen. For years, I would travel down the rabbit hole of "what if," much to the frustration of … Continue reading Playing The “What If” Game
Will It Get Better?
When I was first diagnosed with breast cancer, I thought my world had ended. I think back to the young woman lying on the cold table, undergoing a breast biopsy, sobbing into her hospital gown. I was afraid I was going to die. When I received my metastatic diagnosis several weeks later, I wandered around … Continue reading Will It Get Better?
Final Notes on My Hysterectomy
It's been five weeks since my hysterectomy, and I can still say that my recovery has been much better than expected. I have had no complications up to this point, and physically, I don't really feel like I just had surgery. I was surprised at how minimally invasive the laparoscopic surgery really was, and my … Continue reading Final Notes on My Hysterectomy
Waiting
In the car, on the way to my first oncology appointment, I had what, in hindsight, could only be seen as a mental dissociation. I spun out of control, unable to grasp my cancer diagnosis, completely convinced this was all an elaborate mistake. My brain was stuck in a cycle of deep denial, and I … Continue reading Waiting
Scanxiety
I have my fourth scan today. My third since starting treatment. I’m finishing my ninth cycle of Ibrance. Life still feels tremendously incremental, as if I live from week to week. Each Wednesday afternoon when I refill my pill pack for the upcoming seven days, I let out a breath I didn’t know I was … Continue reading Scanxiety
Salpingo-Oophor-Hysterectomy: All the Oophing Details
I'm now five days post-op, and - spoiler alert - I am recovering better than I expected. Last Thursday, I underwent a total salpingo-oophor-hysterectomy, which in non-medical-jibberish means that I had my ovaries, fallopian tubes, uterus, and cervix removed. I elected to undergo the surgery because my breast cancer is estrogen driven, and the ovaries … Continue reading Salpingo-Oophor-Hysterectomy: All the Oophing Details
Family Medical Bingo (Alternate Title: My Hysterectomy Was Not the Big Medical Event of the Week)
Well, I'm glad that this week is over. I'm about 48 hours post-op from my hysterectomy, and all things considered, I'm doing well. However, our family had quite the eventful week, medically speaking, so let's back up a bit, shall we? On Monday evening, I noticed that Felix had a rather large, angry-looking bug bite … Continue reading Family Medical Bingo (Alternate Title: My Hysterectomy Was Not the Big Medical Event of the Week)
